“I hate cops.” This phrase is used by the masses from coast to coast. Whether it is a valid reason or not it seems like a lot of people despise the fuzz. Cops spread fear throughout the nation and every time you see a cop car your body rushes with fear and a notion to act “normal.” Who likes to worry about getting caught speeding, or a house party being too noisy? So I have a new proposal that could eliminate the “burden” of worrying about the being arrested and potentially ruining your record.

My modest proposal is that we eliminate the police force that we know today. With this new system we can implement a new wild west. Crimes will now be bounties placed on people. Some sort of evidence must support the bounty. The price of the bounty will be determined on the crime committed. Then privatized bounty hunters or vigilantes will follow through on the bounty and be paid by the person who issued the bounty. There are also many benefits to this system. First off, a police force is expensive, as you have to pay salaries, equipment, healthcare, pensions, and so on. The state will save valuable tax dollars, as everything will be privatized now. Also it gives more power to the people and takes power out of the government. Lastly, it will encourage everyone to obey the laws. This is because the citizens police each other. Now criminals will have to worry about being seen by anyone not just police officers.

One negative is there is a potential for corruption. But corruption spreads through many police forces we know today. With the new Wild West system the citizens will be able to pursue corrupted bounty hunters. The power is in the masses and coupled with the second amendment many will be able to police their own cities and neighborhoods. Another negative is that coffee shops and donut shops will see a drop in sales, but perhaps for the first five years the government can give these stores tax breaks as they realize their new target market.

The new police system has the potential to be very effective. It will help local governments save money. Take the power out of the government and give power to the citizens. It will also let us exercise our right to bear arms. Lastly, it will create the Wild West that we all wanted to live in.

Do you feel safer with these guys?

Or this guy?


4 responses »

  1. Paul Martin says:

    Ian, doesn’t your proposal essentially turn everyone into a cop? While not everyone would be a bounty hunter, everyone would be policing each other in some sense. So I’m wondering, wouldn’t it become all more likely to get busted for speeding down a highway or having a noisy party? The way I picture what your saying, is that instead of getting caught by a cop who happens to be parked on the highway or happens to drive past your house party, wouldn’t you now potentially be caught by every other driver on the highway or any other resident on your block? It seems that your chances of getting caught would exponentially increase. But, I think the point that you’re actually trying to get at is that instead of reducing the chances of getting caught for crimes, it would just reduce the crime rate as a whole. At least for significant crimes (hopefully moderate inconveniences such as a loud house party would not be deemed worthy of hiring a bounty hunter).
    I like where your head is at, because I often think that I would much prefer a world without police. I’m very much a libertarian when it comes to things like this, and I would much rather monitor myself and those around me rather than need to worry about cops. However, I think the problem with this is not us (me, you, or any other Bucknell student), but the rest of the world. I can already imagine myself taking abuse of the system, so I can’t even imagine how much an actual criminal would try to get away with. Maybe you could have something like a model city to test it out, where you need to apply to the other citizens of the city in order to be allowed to live there.

    • idalbello says:

      I agree Paul the main problem with this kind of system is that you will get people that will say “I won’t tell if you don’t.” Then you fall into a whole world of blackmail and corruption. I just thought that it would be an interesting concept and wanted to see how people would react. In no way shape or form do I think this is a good idea. I do like your idea of a concept town adopting this idea and seeing how it would play out though.

  2. Scout Berger says:

    I found this post to be hilarious because in many ways I felt like the words were being taken out of my mouth and my friends’ mouths. There has been one time or another where you simply can’t stand the police for. Let it be a speeding ticket that you felt you shouldn’t have gotten or perhaps it was a party downtown that had all adults above 21+ but the cops still shut it down. So what would it be like to not have a police force? Utter chaos is my best guess. As Paul said, to turn everyone into a bounty hunter would be like creating a world wide police force where everyone is breathing down each other’s necks. It would be requiring you watching over your shoulder 24/7 because you don’t know who to look out for. On one hand this may force everyone on the highways to slow down, but in neighborhoods and communities, people won’t know who to trust. Everyone would fear that everyone else was out to get them. This could ultimately create an atmosphere of animosity.

  3. […] Best one liner goes to “You’ll Never Catch Me Coppers” for the sentence “Another negative is that coffee shops and doughnut shops will see a drop in sales”–Ian […]

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