Eating disorders consists of a significant amount of components.  Some are eating disorders to lose weight, there are exercise disorders, and there are disorders to gain weight.  The media and particularly the sports and Hollywood world has blown up the stereotypical body image of what is “beautiful.”  Beautiful women should be no more than a size 2!  For men, if you are an athlete you may have to gain some extra weight to be able to be the best linebacker you can be.  For other men, it is simply imperative to go to the gym to look lean and to make sure to lay off the twinkies.

As we all grew up learning the song “America the Beautiful” let’s make sure that America stays beautiful.  My modest proposal is that we should implement and encourage eating disorders at a young age in elementary schools so that children learn very young how important it is to look beautiful and grow up with these values throughout their life.

To do this, I suggest first and foremost that all cafeteria menus be revamped.  Chicken nuggets?  No thank you.  All meals should be replaced with green vegetables and fruit only.  If the children are really behaving well then maybe they will have earned a grilled piece of chicken.  In Health Education class, the children should learn the importance of beauty and how to get the perfect body.  I mean as it is young children feel they are under an exuberant amount of pressure and feel awkward and out of place so we might as well crush their self esteem a little more and tell them they look ugly.  It’s like killing two birds with one stone!  Gym class should be extended an extra four hours a week and should be significantly more disciplined.  You think that kickball is going to get these kids in shape?  Start having them do some serious cardio and work outs and then we will be on the right path.

If America is going to live up to its reputation as “America the Beautiful” some drastic changes need to be made.  Girls need to learn at a young age that being a size 2 is the largest that will ever be acceptable.  Men need to learn that cookies and doughnuts will never make you beautiful.  We should teach the youth of America the best way to starve themselves and implement eating disorders young so that they grow up the rest of their lives with it haunting them.  Furthermore, imagine how much food and waste America will save with all of the new eating disorders!

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4 responses »

  1. Sarah says:

    Haha nice post Scout! This proposal would really help reduce the issues of obesity and childhood obesity in the USA. Just think of all the money that will be saved by people starving themselves. All you can eat buffets will be a thing of the past and fast food chains will cease to exist! Also healthcare costs related to illnesses caused by people being overweight and obese will be drastically reduced. Although the reduction from illnesses caused by obesity maybe off set by health issues from people being underweight. Clothing production costs will also be reduced because not as much fabric will be need to making clothing as everyone will be so tiny.

  2. Jeff Galloway says:

    An interesting and desirable side effect of this proposal would be the probably reduction of appearance-based bullying. If everyone is taught to be beautiful and skinny and muscular at an early age, then there will be far fewer instances of people being picked on just because they don’t look like “they’re supposed to look.” Worth it? I bet some people would say that it is.

  3. Hannah says:

    What about those people who do the extra hours at the gym, eat virtually nothing and still are larger than a size 2 because of their genes? If America really wants to be “beautiful,” I think that going along with your modest proposal there needs to be a scientific breakthrough that will give us more surgeries other than liposuction and “tummy tuck’s” that will allow us fatties to get skinny and truly be beautiful.

  4. Man, America would be the most beautiful country in the world, and who wouldn’t want to live here? I really liked how you took the idea to the extreme, and showed its ridiculousness. I know Dove started the promotional campaign for real beauty, which featured “every-day” women models. I wonder what would happen if more companies tried the same methodology, would they receive criticism from the media or be appraised for their actions? Would it ever catch on? It seems like it would have to start from the general public, refusing to accept these unreal models as individuals of admiration. I guessing adding on to Sarah’s post, tanning salons and Gold’s Gym would definitely see increased profit margins.

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